Gratitude Attitude

We Can All Aspire to It

New Year’s Eve always makes me reflective.

Not in a resolutions way. I mean, why set ourselves up for failure with Lucy holding the football? For instance, the local gym is generally packed to the gills the first week of January with people who have resolved to work out more. But by the end of December, many of these people are nowhere to be seen.

So today, I reflect on successes, adventures enjoyed, milestones reached, and to what I may aspire next. For me it’s always about self-improvement. Little steps in the right direction. More greens, less sugar. More mountain bike rides, more time with friends, more creative endeavors.

Over our 44 years together, Mark and I have thrown many parties. Birthday parties that have a built-in advantage. Mine lands around the Fourth of July. His hovers near Halloween. Two holidays Americans already love, which means people arrive halfway celebratory before we even open the door.

Back when we could root for a team called the San Diego Chargers

Football-watching parties on Sundays. Musical Friday night soirees to gather friends, and have lots of fun. And New Year’s Eve parties.

Looking back, I realize those parties taught me a lot about gratitude. And about life.

A successful party isn’t complicated.

Yes, food and beverages matter. Of course they do. People need to be fed. But what really makes a party work is gathering good people together and letting them be themselves.

You invite people who are curious, kind, funny, open. You mix old friends with new ones. You don’t worry too much about whether everyone knows each other. They will.

After a few rounds, Blockhead becomes an exercise in team-building and unfettered enjoyment

You add a few elements. Games help. Karaoke really helps. Live music helps even more. Dancing changes the chemistry of a venue completely. People loosen up. They laugh. They remember things about themselves they forgot they still had.

And then you let go.

You don’t micromanage the evening. You let conversations overlap. You let the music get loud. You let people sing when they shouldn’t and dance when they think they can’t.

By the end of the night, something always happens.
People connect.
People feel lighter.
People feel seen.

That, to me, is gratitude in action.

As I look back on this past year, and really on my life, I feel deeply grateful.

Grateful for love that has lasted.
Grateful for work that still excites me.
Grateful for creativity that refuses to retire.
Grateful for bodies that move, even if they creak a little.
Grateful for trails, oceans, stories, songs, and laughter.

I’m even grateful for the hard parts. Not because they were fun, but because they stripped things down. They reminded me what actually matters.

And here is something I believe more and more as the years pass.

Nothing really matters.

Not the way we are taught to think it does.

The pressure.
The expectations.
The noise.

Most of it falls away the moment you are sharing a good meal, a good laugh, or a good song with someone you love.

Which brings me to tonight.

This year, we are still having a New Year’s Eve party. It just looks a little different. This time, the guest list is very exclusive. Mark and me. That’s it.

We’re going out to our favorite seafood restaurant. We’ll order what we love. We’ll open a nice bottle of champagne. We’ll linger. We’ll talk. We’ll toast another year of showing up for each other.

A party of two is still a party.

What matters is how you show up.
What matters is whether you choose gratitude over resentment.
What matters is your PMA. Positive Mental Attitude.

Not the fake kind.
Not the everything’s-perfect kind.

The kind that says, I’m grateful to be alive in the “here and now.”
The kind that says, nothing really matters, and that’s exactly why this moment does.

So as the year turns, this is my wish for you.

Gather your people, even if it’s just one.
Feed them.
Celebrate.
Let go of the rest.

Nothing really matters.
And that may be the greatest freedom of all.

With gratitude,
Patty