Boys Like Balls and Girls Like Boxes

A Reverie

Let’s just start with the obvious: boys like balls and girls like boxes. I don’t mean that in a crude way, though the double entendre is not lost on me. I mean it in a deeply anthropological, psychological, even biological sense.

From the time we’re toddlers, these preferences seem to emerge naturally. A little boy lights up at the sight of a ball. He wants to throw it, catch it, kick it, bounce it, chase it. The ball is an object of motion: round, open-ended, unpredictable, full of possibilities. It invites action, risk, competition, physical engagement, and constant testing of limits.

A little girl, on the other hand, gravitates toward boxes. She opens them, closes them, fills them, empties them, decorates them, nests them inside one another. Boxes invite organization, containment, intimacy, mystery. A box can be a treasure chest, a dollhouse, a keepsake holder. It is the beginning of structure: of home, of family, of security, of creativity. The box is a portal to an inner world, while the ball is a passport to the outer one.

Of course, these are not rigid rules. Some girls love soccer, and some boys love fort-building. But the general tendencies remain. And they extend far beyond childhood.

Look at sports. Most of the world’s major sports revolve around balls: football, baseball, basketball, soccer, tennis, golf. The ball is central to male competition, with teams or individuals seeking dominance by controlling, aiming, scoring, or defending that object. The more skillful one becomes at managing the ball, the greater the glory.

Look at homes, offices, and relationships. Women often serve as the keepers of boxes, literal and metaphorical. We organize the schedules, keep the photo albums, preserve the memories, wrap the presents, file the paperwork, store the precious objects, safeguard the family stories. We are the curators of containers.

Even in the world of technology, men design and compete over systems that move information around, balls in digital space, while women often build the platforms, the networks, and the communities that hold and manage those systems, the boxes that give structure to the flow.

You can even take this into the spiritual and philosophical realms. Masculine energy, in many traditions, is symbolized by movement, projection, penetration — all ball-like. Feminine energy is receptive, nurturing, enclosing, holding — all box-like. The world needs both forces in balance to thrive.

Sadly, we live in a world that too often elevates the balls and dismisses the boxes. Action, competition, aggression, and conquest get celebrated. Containment, reflection, preservation, and nurturing get undervalued or taken for granted. But try building a civilization on balls alone. Without the boxes to carry the food, store the seeds, raise the children, and preserve the culture, there would be nothing but aimless bouncing.

At this point, someone reading this may be raising an eyebrow: “But Patty, aren’t you reinforcing gender stereotypes?”

No. I’m honoring tendencies, not mandates. We are each complex tapestries of masculine and feminine threads. There are plenty of women who love action, competition, and movement. I count myself among them as a mountain biker and adventurer. And there are plenty of men who cherish organization, beauty, and containment. But recognizing the patterns helps us understand, respect, and celebrate the complementary energies that have always existed between us.

In a healthy partnership, whether personal, professional, or societal, the ball and the box dance together. One sets the motion; the other offers a place to land. One reaches outward; the other draws inward. One throws; the other catches.

And perhaps that’s the great secret of love itself: not a clash of opposites, but a harmony of energies, where boys and girls, men and women, and all variations in between can play together, building something greater than either could create alone.

Because in the end, whether you love balls or boxes, we’re all just trying to make sense of the beautiful, chaotic, and deeply mysterious game of being human.